How many times a day do you turn away from what is happening? You know what I mean - a text or email you don’t want to respond to; something you put off that needs to get done or an emotion you don’t want to feel. I don’t know about you, but it happens to me almost daily. It’s the human condition.

This morning I woke up with a wave of anxiety -tight stomach, mind racing - you know the kind. I was running over a scenario in my head with a friend in which I wished I had shown up differently and will be staying solo for the first time in a foreign country. Then the frustration with myself about the way I was feeling stepped in. It can be an exhausting circle of fear, self-doubt, anxiety, hopelessness…

It was then that I recognized what was happening and I stopped to explore and wondered if I could ask the anxious part what it was there for this morning.

“Ahhhh” it responded; “I just want you to know how much I love you.”

“Really? It doesn’t feel like love,” I said.

“I know; I’m here to protect you, keep you safe and want you to know you are loved.”

Then I settled down enough to take it in and ask it what it needed from me. “Just give me space and acknowledgement for all the hard work I’ve done. I love you.”

“Wow! Really? All this anxious part wanted was to be seen & acknowledged?” It has been trying so hard to help me feel loved. So I decided to lay in bed a little longer and be with a tight stomach and constricted heart and the intensity started to lessen.

When I wrote my gratitudes, anxiety was at the top of the list. My anxiety did not start with me, but it’s made me who I am. If you are a woman, did you know that you were an egg in your mother’s womb when she was in her mother’s womb? So any trauma or anxiety that I carry could be traced back to the anxiety my Grandmother experienced when she was pregnant with my Mother? YEP - isn’t that mind-blowing??